35 Funny Quotes and Sayings – FunZumo

Looking for the best funny memes and quotes words. Here are 35 all-time funny quotes and sayings that will express joy at your confront "A successful man is one who makes more coin than his married woman tin can spend. A successful woman is one who can observe such a man. "Only because the voices merely talk to me doesn't mean you should go all jealous. You're but a petty too crazy for their taste."

Top quotes well-nigh sarcastic quotes for you lot "If you lot wrote downwards every single idea you always had you would get an accolade for the shortest story e'er." Whether that dearest is a new love or decades-old beloved, and whether information technology takes the form of romance or friendship, these quotes capture what is so special life.

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#1. "Fourth dimension decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your beliefs decides who stays in your life."

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#ii. "Laughing is the all-time medicine. Simply if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine."

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#3. "Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself."

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#4. "Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, y'all're drunk."

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#five. "Y'all couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions."

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#6. "Go the extra miles it's never crowded."

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#7. "I'thou trying to see things from your bespeak of view but I can't stick my caput that far up my ass"

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#8. "In life, you will meet ii kinds of people. Ones who build you lot up, and ones who tear you down. But in the finish, you lot volition thank them both."

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#ix. "Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it'southward a cute day."

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#10. "It's so strange that autumn is so cute, yet everything is dying."

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#11.  "Y'all know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish I could do that with people."

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#12. "Possibly you should eat some makeup so you tin can be pretty on the inside besides."

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#13. "The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be set up."

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#fourteen. "I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I only don't think being an adult is going to piece of work for me."

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#15. "Rabbits bound and they alive for eight years. Dogs run and they alive for 15 years. Turtles do zilch and live for 150 years. Lesson learned."

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#sixteen. "If at commencement, y'all don't succeed, gear up your ponytail, and endeavour once again."

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#17. Top hilarious quotes that make you laugh till you cry "It'south been very funny to endeavour to human action like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every mean solar day, I'm similar, 'Should I article of clothing a blazer and walk around with an umbrella? Exercise I carry a briefcase?' Considering I'm trying to be some image of the adults I saw on Television set growing upwards. John Mulaney

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"Believe y'all tin can & you lot're halfway there."

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#18. "I don't have a dirty mind, I take a sexy imagination."

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#19. "Don't like me? Cool, I don't wake up every twenty-four hours to impress you lot…"

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#twenty. "It'due south hard to find a friend who is: 95% talented 96% funny 98% loving 99% intelligent and 100% sweet so don't u dare… Lose me!!"

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#21. "I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and so realize I'm not an extra…"

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#22. "If yous hang out with chickens, yous're going to cluck and if yous hang out with eagles, you're going to fly."

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#23. "Never brand someone a priority, when all y'all are to them is an option."

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#24. "Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like skillful people."

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#25. Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud "Part of my human action is meant to milk shake you upwardly. It looks like I'k being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going downwards the tube. Joan Rivers

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"Hey autocorrect, quit tampering with my curse words, you mother forklift!"

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#26. "Never let your all-time friends get lonely… continue agonizing them."

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#27. "I just checked my business relationship rest at the atm. It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles."

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#28. "A friend who understands your tears is much more than valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile."

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#29. "You don't really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunkard with them."

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#30. "It'southward always funny listening to someone'due south lie when yous already know the truth."

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#31. Funny inspirational quotes well-nigh life "Information technology'southward such a funny affair when you see your girl transitioning from your babe, your little girl, to suddenly beingness a young adult female. If you're not actually looking for it, y'all can miss information technology, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's cypher I tin exercise to cease it. Johnny Depp

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"People rarely succeed unless they accept fun in what they are doing."

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#32. "When people tell me "Y'all're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon considering I'm a problem solver."

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#33. "The biggest lie I tell myself is 'I don't need to write that downwardly, I'll retrieve it!'"

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#34. "I'chiliad pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you there wouldn't be annihilation left!!!"

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#35. "I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, merely with words"

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Funny quotes most life sayings "Thank you lot for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you."

"That moment when you realize it wasn't a fart"

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short funny quotes sayings "Almost comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else'southward expense. And I discover that that's simply a class of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else'due south feelings. Ellen DeGeneres

Funny Love quotes and sayings Featured snippet from the web Timeless Quotes About Love: The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard but must be felt with the eye. Life without dearest is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. The all-time thing to hold onto in life is each other. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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